adventures in nannying...

W: Sandy, why didn’t you drink your juice?

S: {shrugs} I didn’t want to drink it?

W: But its good for you- it will make you healthy an strong.

S: It takes like beer.

W: Oh. {Pause} That’s okay. You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to. {to self: whew! Glad THAT taste bud isn’t there yet!}

Last night we were on our way to a movie. We jumped into the car and I asked the boys if they could put on their seatbelts by themselves. They nodded confidently. After 7 minutes, I gave up and turned around in my seat to give them a hand. As I turned, my butt hit the horn.

S: {shocked and surprised} What WAS that?!

W: {sigh} Oh nothing, just my bum.

S: {confused} Your bum…??

W: Yes, my big butt hit the horn.

Y: {pipe in with attitude and confidence} “You do NOT have a big butt.”

Score- Whitney: 1

I’m back to nanny just for a few days and already have some stories to add!

I bought a new car for my job which the boys have never seen before. Sandy stepped right in looked around and scrunched up his nose exclaiming, “Why does your car smell like a make up?”

It is actually Tahitian vanilla thank you very much.

The boys weren’t ready to come inside for dinner so I told them I was just going to leave them alone in the front yard. Sandy stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at me and told me that he wasn’t allowed to bicycle out front along because of this story….

Translation

W: Sandy, what is the white van?

S: No-

Y: {Annoying noises}

S: A minivan! With three people in it…

W: {Agreeing} Uh huh, and what did it-

S: {Interrupting} Took {pause} a 12 year old kid {pause}…. as big {pause, thinking, looking around for something big} as that {[pointing} branch.

W: {Nodding} Oh. So pretty tall.

S: Yah.

W: And then?

S: And he was skateboarding- {pause} all alone. No brother {pause}…. And a minivan - with three people in it- they came and they took him away.

W: Why?

S: {matter of factly} Because he was all alone without anybody.

W: So does that mean that you’re not allowed to go bicycling alone?

S: Yah.

Y: {At Sandy} I want to take a pciture of you!

S: {Confused, Annoyed} Why?

Y: Because you’re cute. {Pause} And you’re my brother and I love you.

I bent over to pack some watershoes into a swimming bag today and all of the sudden a little hand reached down my back.

W: Sandy! What are you doing?

S: {Innocently} Your ticket?

W: {Confused} What?

S: That’s your ticket, I mean your tag. Hanging out. 

W: What flavor of ice cream would you like, Sandy?

S: {After much thought, seriously} Flamingo!

We went to a neighbor’s house to play last week. Over a MacN Cheese lunch, I was asking the neighbor boy about his experiences at camp. Yeno and Sandy have never gone to camp so they listened attentively.

W: So, Neighbor Boy, did you meet a lot of friends at this camp?

Neighbor Boy: Yes, tons! I have so many friends.

Y: {looking down} I don’t have any friends.

Neighbor Boy: Maybe that’s cause you look like a dork?

{Pause for 5 seconds}

W: {Shocked, Stifling laughter}

Neighbor Boy: Well, not a bad dork, a good one!

We went to the skatepark today. After sweating profusely, I attempted to coax Sandy into re-hydrating. 

W: Drink some more juice please, Sandy.

S: {Obstinately} I can’t! I don’t want to get drunk.

We’re at the cottage again! Back to moth snatching and caterpillar catching! Yeno got hold of a large moth and Sandy managed to trap a little fuzzy guy. As we we inside, the moth got away….

S: {Pointing} Ahhh! He’s on the phone!

Y: {Confused} Huh? On the phone?! {Pause for 3 seconds… excitedly} Oh I know why he’s on the phone! Because he wants to call his friend the caterpillar!

S: {Laughing} Ya! And also the caterpillar doesn’t want to talk to him so he doesn’t even answer!

{Both break into laughter}